I pray that you be happy,
even if the price of your happiness is my own.
I pray that you succeed in the search of your own happiness.
I pray that the price I pay will be worth it.
Because you are worth it.
Because you have always been worth it.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Thursday, December 08, 2011
for good
on december 8, 2012
11 days shy of what could have been two years now
i tell you goodbye
in the same way i said yes to all
GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes the sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed
For good
ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine by being my friend
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
GLINDA
Because I knew you
BOTH
I have been changed for good
ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
GLINDA
But then I guess we know
There's blame to share
BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore
GLINDA ELPHABA
Like a comet pulled Like a ship blown
From orbit as it Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood
BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?
GLINDA
And because I knew you
ELPHABA
Because I knew you
BOTH
Because I knew you
I have been changed
For good
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
it appears that i have to pick up the pieces and begin anew. again. after being so sure that i would never have to pick up the pieces ever again. i guess there's really no such thing as a sure thing.
on a weirder note, here's a list of the inane things that have happened to me lately :
1. a guy i used to go out with asked me to be the host of his wedding reception. his bride doesn't know about it and he says that for as long as the audience doesn't know we went out, all should be well.
2. in the movie credits, there is a "gay lingo consultant"
3. an iphone app i've been playing since november has a very anti-climactic non-end
4. online shoe shopping has made itself extremely available to me
5. my long-awaited knight in shining armor has decided he would rather live in the forest and play with the dragons, whom he has befriended
it's time for a nap.
on a weirder note, here's a list of the inane things that have happened to me lately :
1. a guy i used to go out with asked me to be the host of his wedding reception. his bride doesn't know about it and he says that for as long as the audience doesn't know we went out, all should be well.
2. in the movie credits, there is a "gay lingo consultant"
3. an iphone app i've been playing since november has a very anti-climactic non-end
4. online shoe shopping has made itself extremely available to me
5. my long-awaited knight in shining armor has decided he would rather live in the forest and play with the dragons, whom he has befriended
it's time for a nap.
Monday, July 05, 2010
my favorite bontoc word
i was never the best with languages. my foreign language in college was spanish, and beyond donde esta el tabac, there was never really much i could say.
i always like to think that the Fates have an incredible sense of humor when it comes to toying with my life, because my first job ever was in a place where i couldn't understand a thing -- tagalog and english were secondary languages, and the language being spoken there sounded like a mix of F and CH sounds, and there was not a trace of english or tagalog anywhere.
the Fates decided that i was to be a teacher, and my naive little mind had visions of becoming an Anne of Green Gables sort of teacher. but as the Fates have an ironic sense of humor, i did not prepare for the surprises that awaited me. every single nightmare i've had of being a teacher came true then -- from firecrackers exploding in the classroom, to blank faces in the classroom when i tried introducing my idea of high-brow literature, to staff meetings in ilocano that i had no way of understanding, to every high school child's belief that it was his birthright to make teacher's life as hellish as possible.
but my favorite Bontoc word saved me and provided the much needed equilibrium i needed at that time in my life. every child in all my classes knows that this is my favorite word. and this word brings back fond memories of a different life.
werwer.
this is a Bontoc word that means naughty, makulit, matigas ulo. but to me, it is that and so much more.
werwer is children writing their dreams for their futures and me sealing them in a ziploc bag and us burying them in the school garden. and gleefully enjoying an english period spent out of doors.
werwer is spellcheck wednesdays, where the children would fall all over each other getting a pink star drawn on a yellow post-it.
werwer is the class laughing at the teacher because she spent two days under the sun wearing sunglasses, and came to class with a Batman sunburn on her face.
werwer is children sitting near the window teasing a ray of sunlight and having it dance on the blackboard, causing teacher to slap at it, making the entire class laugh.
werwer is marvelling at the children bringing their own floor wax and brooms to keep their own classrooms clean.
werwer is listening to U2 songs in class and finding the metaphors and similes in the song lyrics.
werwer is reading a student essay about tree planting on a hot day, and remembering how the sentence "my feet is cook!" made teacher's day.
werwer is the students sympathizing with teacher's scratched up hands, because teacher did not know how to do her laundry by hand.
werwer is thursday afternoons spent in the town cathedral, rehearsing mass songs and getting out of lessons for one afternoon.
werwer is the thought of the children who helped make me an adult.
children who are now adults themselves, who have led interesting lives and who have grown up without me knowing.
but they will always be children to me, and it is with much love that i remember them all today. agannad kayo, and thank you for bringing the werwer into my life.
i always like to think that the Fates have an incredible sense of humor when it comes to toying with my life, because my first job ever was in a place where i couldn't understand a thing -- tagalog and english were secondary languages, and the language being spoken there sounded like a mix of F and CH sounds, and there was not a trace of english or tagalog anywhere.
the Fates decided that i was to be a teacher, and my naive little mind had visions of becoming an Anne of Green Gables sort of teacher. but as the Fates have an ironic sense of humor, i did not prepare for the surprises that awaited me. every single nightmare i've had of being a teacher came true then -- from firecrackers exploding in the classroom, to blank faces in the classroom when i tried introducing my idea of high-brow literature, to staff meetings in ilocano that i had no way of understanding, to every high school child's belief that it was his birthright to make teacher's life as hellish as possible.
but my favorite Bontoc word saved me and provided the much needed equilibrium i needed at that time in my life. every child in all my classes knows that this is my favorite word. and this word brings back fond memories of a different life.
werwer.
this is a Bontoc word that means naughty, makulit, matigas ulo. but to me, it is that and so much more.
werwer is children writing their dreams for their futures and me sealing them in a ziploc bag and us burying them in the school garden. and gleefully enjoying an english period spent out of doors.
werwer is spellcheck wednesdays, where the children would fall all over each other getting a pink star drawn on a yellow post-it.
werwer is the class laughing at the teacher because she spent two days under the sun wearing sunglasses, and came to class with a Batman sunburn on her face.
werwer is children sitting near the window teasing a ray of sunlight and having it dance on the blackboard, causing teacher to slap at it, making the entire class laugh.
werwer is marvelling at the children bringing their own floor wax and brooms to keep their own classrooms clean.
werwer is listening to U2 songs in class and finding the metaphors and similes in the song lyrics.
werwer is reading a student essay about tree planting on a hot day, and remembering how the sentence "my feet is cook!" made teacher's day.
werwer is the students sympathizing with teacher's scratched up hands, because teacher did not know how to do her laundry by hand.
werwer is thursday afternoons spent in the town cathedral, rehearsing mass songs and getting out of lessons for one afternoon.
werwer is the thought of the children who helped make me an adult.
children who are now adults themselves, who have led interesting lives and who have grown up without me knowing.
but they will always be children to me, and it is with much love that i remember them all today. agannad kayo, and thank you for bringing the werwer into my life.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
stories
the man makes the stories, and the stories make the man.
i am fortunate to be blessed with a home that overlooks a lake which i get to visit once a year. a place where i get to leave the rest of my life behind, where i can sleep deeply, wake up refreshed and count the many stories i have been abundantly blessed with.
stories of ...
... musical stoplights with cami, cathy, pia and tommy. this is the story of much laughter, food and forgiveness
... kuya breaking his arm after showing me how superman flies. this is the story of how superheroes are born.
... lola dada "shooting" at me and kuya in mindoro, causing us to run home and bathe and nap without a fuss. and later of lolo ciano telling me of his anting anting and lola coring validating it. this is the story of having a full childhood in mindoro.
... long weekends in boracay, bohol, and puerto galera. and of the 12th floor of the metrobank plaza. this is the story of the metrobank kids and the second generation of Y2V.
... subic and tabangao with che, pin, and marijo, and retelling the secret details to che and russell. this is the PG13 version of the story.
... karaoke with pchi, nena and con. this is the story of our twisted version of a prayer meeting.
... the great wall of china, ayuttaya, the great singapore sale, and other no frills adventures with marijo. this is the story of working to live.
... the oasis concert, the overnight trip to singapore, and of nesse taking me to try spicy stingray. this is the story of one's first grownup adventure.
... reserving dinners at burgoo for the most important announcement of all. justine and ines done, angel and me left. this is the story of brides and their best friends.
... a swiftly tilting planet in the cebu skies with edmark, and with noel cheering us on fromthe safety of a coffeeshop. this is the story of travel traditions.
... silly hats and opulent hotel rooms during kadayawan festivals with ninin. this is the story of the secret sisterhood.
... murphy, doggie, JB, JJ, garvygator, hugo bear and kimmi. also of wormy, pillow, dressy bessy, spanky, and lamb. this is the story of my imaginary best friends.
... kano and kailey enjoy their first summer in mindoro. this is the story of reassurance that the next generation will carry on our traditions.
... gary's gravity-defying antics, which deserve a chapter all its own.
i made these stories, and i am blessed that these stories made me.
this is for the cast of thousands in my story. thank you for being part of my story.
i am fortunate to be blessed with a home that overlooks a lake which i get to visit once a year. a place where i get to leave the rest of my life behind, where i can sleep deeply, wake up refreshed and count the many stories i have been abundantly blessed with.
stories of ...
... musical stoplights with cami, cathy, pia and tommy. this is the story of much laughter, food and forgiveness
... kuya breaking his arm after showing me how superman flies. this is the story of how superheroes are born.
... lola dada "shooting" at me and kuya in mindoro, causing us to run home and bathe and nap without a fuss. and later of lolo ciano telling me of his anting anting and lola coring validating it. this is the story of having a full childhood in mindoro.
... long weekends in boracay, bohol, and puerto galera. and of the 12th floor of the metrobank plaza. this is the story of the metrobank kids and the second generation of Y2V.
... subic and tabangao with che, pin, and marijo, and retelling the secret details to che and russell. this is the PG13 version of the story.
... karaoke with pchi, nena and con. this is the story of our twisted version of a prayer meeting.
... the great wall of china, ayuttaya, the great singapore sale, and other no frills adventures with marijo. this is the story of working to live.
... the oasis concert, the overnight trip to singapore, and of nesse taking me to try spicy stingray. this is the story of one's first grownup adventure.
... reserving dinners at burgoo for the most important announcement of all. justine and ines done, angel and me left. this is the story of brides and their best friends.
... a swiftly tilting planet in the cebu skies with edmark, and with noel cheering us on fromthe safety of a coffeeshop. this is the story of travel traditions.
... silly hats and opulent hotel rooms during kadayawan festivals with ninin. this is the story of the secret sisterhood.
... murphy, doggie, JB, JJ, garvygator, hugo bear and kimmi. also of wormy, pillow, dressy bessy, spanky, and lamb. this is the story of my imaginary best friends.
... kano and kailey enjoy their first summer in mindoro. this is the story of reassurance that the next generation will carry on our traditions.
... gary's gravity-defying antics, which deserve a chapter all its own.
i made these stories, and i am blessed that these stories made me.
this is for the cast of thousands in my story. thank you for being part of my story.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
defying gravity
from palm avenue to sanctuario de san antonio
dec 19, 2009
1:30ish in the morning
GLINDA:(spoken)
Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!
ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition
BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now
GLINDA
(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:
ELPHABA
(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:
ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
(spoken) Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could
do: together.
(sung) Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em
GLINDA
If we work in tandem:
BOTH
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity
ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?
GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this
ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss
BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:
ELPHABA So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!
GLINDA
I hope you're happy!
CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her, she's wicked!
Get her!
ELPHABA
:Bring me down!
CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we've got to bring her
ELPHABA
Ahhh!
CITIZENS OF OZ
Down!
for gary abello, who i'm defying gravity with
dec 19, 2009
1:30ish in the morning
GLINDA:(spoken)
Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!
ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition
BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now
GLINDA
(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:
ELPHABA
(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:
ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
(spoken) Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could
do: together.
(sung) Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em
GLINDA
If we work in tandem:
BOTH
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity
ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?
GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this
ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss
BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:
ELPHABA So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!
GLINDA
I hope you're happy!
CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her, she's wicked!
Get her!
ELPHABA
:Bring me down!
CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we've got to bring her
ELPHABA
Ahhh!
CITIZENS OF OZ
Down!
for gary abello, who i'm defying gravity with
Friday, September 04, 2009
it's a brand new day
it’s a brand new day
sun is shining
it’s a brand new day
for the first time in such a long long time
i know i’ll be okay.
thank you joshua radin
for having the words when i don't.
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